Death whispered in my ear...
Death whispered in my ear last week, as it sometimes does. Instead of stopping and asking who it was going to take away from me THIS time and instead of taking a minute to call all my loved ones to tell them I love them... I did what I always do when Death talks to me. I did what I do best: I ran. I ran as far and as fast as I could. When I couldn't run anymore, I partied as hard as I could. Then I dropped to the floor and slept as long as I could...and when I finally woke up Death had taken from me one of the most important influential people in my life. One of the bravest women I've ever known.
Losing a grandparent is not supposed to hurt this much, right? They've lived their lives, right?
I wish I knew how to get rid of this whispering. Even now as I sit here, it talks to me and reminds me of things I am putting in the back of my mind. It constantly lets me know that no-one is safe. No-one lives forever. We are all mortal. It's coming for all of us sometime... The only way I battle it, is by living. Living and fighting. Every morning I fight it. Every night I fight it. I constantly fight it. I fight it with words. I fight it with actions. I sometimes fight it just by proving to myself that, no matter what I am feeling, I AM STILL ALIVE! If that means I sometimes make a fool of myself, then so be it. If it means I get hurt, then so be it. At least I can laugh.
One day, when Death whispers to me that it is now my time to go, I want to be able to laugh in its face and say:"You know what? Take me. I've LIVED and neither darkness nor death can ever take that away from me"
This post is dedicated to MARIA ELIZABETH VENTER (1917/02/12 - 2010/08/16) the person I was named after and who taught me that in the face of suffering, you lift up your head, look life in the eyes and you LIVE. I love you, Grandma. You will be missed.
Losing a grandparent is not supposed to hurt this much, right? They've lived their lives, right?
I wish I knew how to get rid of this whispering. Even now as I sit here, it talks to me and reminds me of things I am putting in the back of my mind. It constantly lets me know that no-one is safe. No-one lives forever. We are all mortal. It's coming for all of us sometime... The only way I battle it, is by living. Living and fighting. Every morning I fight it. Every night I fight it. I constantly fight it. I fight it with words. I fight it with actions. I sometimes fight it just by proving to myself that, no matter what I am feeling, I AM STILL ALIVE! If that means I sometimes make a fool of myself, then so be it. If it means I get hurt, then so be it. At least I can laugh.
One day, when Death whispers to me that it is now my time to go, I want to be able to laugh in its face and say:"You know what? Take me. I've LIVED and neither darkness nor death can ever take that away from me"
This post is dedicated to MARIA ELIZABETH VENTER (1917/02/12 - 2010/08/16) the person I was named after and who taught me that in the face of suffering, you lift up your head, look life in the eyes and you LIVE. I love you, Grandma. You will be missed.
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